Thursday, October 30, 2014

"I got this" Article and Kind Birth Commentary

Click the the article...then come back for a Kind Birth commentary relating this idea to the art of attending a woman during the labor process.

The three sexiest words a man can say

First of all, as I read this article, I was not really applying it to my love relationship.  I get it, and I totally agree that even though I consider myself to be whole person...masculine and feminine...I do still enjoy it deeply when my husband and I are "in balance".  It is those moments when I feel the most connected, the most intimate, no matter how much of which we are each embodying in that instance.  Masculinity and Femininity (sorry, I know that grammatically, only the first word in a sentence should be capitalized, but it seemed contrary to my point) are equal.  Equally powerful, equally beautiful, equally valuable. I don't mean to say that we are all balanced 50/50, I believe it changes and shifts within us all, all the time. It's almost as if we are made of energy.

When I was reading this article, I was thinking about being a doula.  Now, the words "I got this" are words I have never uttered while supporting a woman in labor, for obvious reasons, but there are moments in which I know that that is the sentiment I am emanating.  It is balanced by "You got this" in the same way that the feminine and masculine energy are shifting in dominance within us all, all the time.  I convey both, in varying degrees, with my eyes when she looks to me to tell her that she is alright, that the overwhelming strength of her body is not causing her harm, that she is stronger than she knows.  It's also the energetic message I am sending through my hands when I am massaging her back, holding her hand, wiping her brow, holding her in a position, offering her food/water, or encouraging/assisting her to change position.  When a male or female partner is present, informed about what she needs, and when she needs it, in the birth process, and can get that message through without overvaluing the small elements of the task we take on AND without undervaluing the powerful task she is charged with, he or she has become a doula by my definition.

“I’m going to take on this uncomfortable mission-oriented task because that’s how I can best offer my masculine gift right now while honoring your delicious gift of feminine energy to my life. I will demonstrate my deep commitment to your care by ensuring you can stay warm under the covers and linger in this moment of blissful embodied reverie.”

I know, I know, blissful embodied reverie might be pushing it in this instance.

This article was interesting to me because I always considered being a doula as a feminine art.  In fact birthing is the ultimate feminine art, and a birthing woman must therefore require some masculinity to give her balance.  It's certainly not a concrete science, since her energy is shifting within her, and throughout the process as well and her needs will shift with her energy.  What a beautiful, intuitive, energetic, and powerful opportunity it is to be with a woman as she births.

We all need sometimes to hear, or feel, "I got this" from someone we trust.
We also all need sometimes to hear, or feel, "You got this" from someone we trust.
Masculine and Feminine.

P.S. My next Childbirth Education series is scheduled to begin November 17th.  
       Click the links on the right to learn more!

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